Jordan aka FltAdmlWolf

Every other week or so I am awoken at odd hours out of a sound sleep (Hank Hedland sleeps through almost anything) by the Percussionist from Hell. About two weeks ago it was 3am, and today it was 7:30am.

Having had enough of this bull[...], I pulled on clothes and rushed the dog out the door to find this asshole. Just as we were exiting the building, a man was walking across the street with a CD player with loudspeakers and two drum sticks, alternating between "SHUT UP!" and muttering to hi...

EVERY TIME I take a nap, I'm like "Wake me up in an hour and a half. Don't let me sleep more than an hour and a half," and Hank Hedland is like "Okay, an hour and a half!"

And then, I wake up like three and a half hours later, and I'm like, WHAT HAPPENED? And Hank's all "You told me you wanted to keep sleeping!" And I'm like "THAT WASN'T ME! That was the evil nap monster who controls my body when I'm asleep, and I've told you a thousand times NOT TO TRUST THAT MONSTER!" And Hank's like, "Wel...

Everybody leaves Los Angeles. And now I have. Bye y'all!

Everything is moved in. Kinda. Neither sofa nor bookshelf would fit up staircase. So...

Facebook keeps asking me if I like "Hairy Guys." I mean, the answer is yes of course, but is that really something I want on my profile?

Feeling much, much better everyone! Thanks for asking!

Finally!

Finished grocery shopping. Or as I like to call it, the "weekly Hostess products haul."

First day in DC not starting so well. Realized I damaged my Jetta while hauling it here and now need to return it to dealership and rent a car.

FLEET WEEK!

Foaming hand soap is taking America's rest stops by storm.

Food poisoning apparently adds a temporary superpower: extraordinary sense of smell. And wow - this place smells disgusting.

For gays, global warming means forgetting that shirts with sleeves exist. https://t.co/7cRZLBqCTl

FYI to all who care: Hank Hedland, Baxter Rex, and I are planning on leaving LA in the early afternoon of Wednesday, August 31st. We are driving to Tara Howard's wedding in Austin, and then plan on arriving in DC on September 6th.

FYI y'all, Peppermint mocha is my life now. Kthx.

Get your copy of “The Ultimate Guide to Starting an Online Business” https://t.co/cpOvK1r39y via @ramit

Glucose solution is gross. Why can't they carbonate it?

GO FOR THE EYES, AMERICAN BALD EAGLE! DRAW FIRST BLOOD BEFORE HE DESTROYS YOUR HABITAT!

Good direct action should raise eyebrows. It should make some people angry. It should fluster the target. It should challenge the monied establishment. It should not apologize for the silly, misplaced outrage it creates.

Good thing Gawker and the rest of the vulture media didn’t lose a whole day of clickbait ad sales by waiting to get the whole story, huh? Otherwise we might not have had the chance to vilify someone!

Goodbye and good riddance to #superbowlcity. Hopefully I don't have to return to this shitshow before they tear it down, never to return again.

Got a little something in my eye...

HALLELUJAH, YES! "Why It's Time to Repeal the Second Amendment" https://t.co/Kzw7uM9Uke #Guns #2a #LGBT #Orlando via @dsc250 @RollingStone

Hank and I exchanged gifts last night since we're going to be out of town. One present was a set of Star Trek cast member Pez dispensers! It wasn't until after I had eaten half the Pez in the box out of Picard's head did Hank Hedland tell me it was a collector's item I wasn't supposed to open. Or that it was over 4 years old.

No regrets.

Hank and I joined Weight Watchers today!