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Jordan aka FltAdmlWolf

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Status Updates posted by Jordan aka FltAdmlWolf

  1. @comcastcares I'm calling to upgrade and your phone system has now hung up on me twice.

  2. .@wmata single tracking delays? SHOCKING.

  3. Dear spiders who live in my book boxes in the garage,

    How do you eat? How long is your food commute? Surely you should live closer to your food source and not inside a sealed box that has to be the equivalent of a lonely Nebraska dirt road in terms of delicious bug traffic?

  4. Bernie, grant me the serenity
    to tolerate pro-Hillary FB posts;
    the courage to keep scrolling;
    and the wisdom to know when to respond.

  5. This is the justification I've been waiting my whole life for: "Floss probably doesn't help anything." https://t.co/vPPX1kshxO

  6. This is my monthly reminder to myself. The clock is ticking.

    "You have exactly one life in which to do everything you'll ever do. Act accordingly."

  7. This is what safe and sane gun regulation would look like: "To get a gun in Japan, first, you have to attend an all-day class and pass a written test, which are held only once per month. You also must take and pass a shooting range class. Then, head over to a hospital for a mental test and drug test (Japan is unusual in that potential gun owners must affirmatively prove their mental fitness), which you'll file with the police. Finally, pass a rigorous background check for any criminal record...

  8. Thanks @BigScoots :) https://t.co/JsMvEwvgvd

  9. We break for a moment from the ongoing national discussion about gun control to watch my new "Egg Central" cook its first batch of hard boiled eggs. This had better work, Cuisinart!

  10. Reince Priebus is an anagram for Brunei Recipes. WHAT DOES IT MEAN? #GOP

  11. That moment when you've been sick for days, and you're past the anger and annoyance and now you're in acceptance. You finally just give up and realize YOU WILL NEVER FEEL BETTER AGAIN. This is your life now -- constant, unending misery FOREVER.

  12. Wow. This really bowled me over.

  13. I just met Steny Hoyer. And then I forgot to introduce myself to Steny Hoyer.

  14. Sooooo.... where can I find these shirtless photos the FBI agent sent to Jill Kelley before the Petraeus email investigation?

  15. Food poisoning apparently adds a temporary superpower: extraordinary sense of smell. And wow - this place smells disgusting.

  16. "precisely because no reforms are possible today it makes perfect sense to flesh out the alternative - not minor restrictions on the margins but a society which has dramatically fewer guns, where private ownership was limited and regulated like how you would in a civilized society and one in which we took seriously limiting the needless deaths and suffering guns cause today."

    I WANT A GUN FREE AMERICA.

    Universal background checks and the assault weapons are the bare minimum we should acce...

  17. WHAT IS HAPPENING? WHY WON'T THE SUN SET?

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