Jordan aka FltAdmlWolf

Feeling much, much better everyone! Thanks for asking!

OH MY GOD, PEOPLE! I AM GOING TO SEE MY FIRST Madonna SHOW!

Binders full of turkeys!

The theme of my dreams this morning was 80s buddy comedies. Things took a fresh turn when Bruce Willis invited me to his dorm room to watch hockey and then got all flirty with me.

Now I have a crush on Bruce Willis.

Some of my earliest memories:

1. Bringing to kindergarten show-and-tell a 7" vinyl version of Madonna's "Dress You Up" (b-side "Shoo-Bee-Doo");

2. Being at the video store circa 1986 and being told by my mother to grab any video I wanted and choosing Madonna's "Like a Virgin" tour VHS.

I've never had the chance to go to a show before now because the tickets were more than I could afford, but seeing as how there probably aren't too many tours left, I refuse to miss this one.

Y'ALL I'M GOING TO SEE MADONNA LIVE TONIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIIIIIFE.

I'm about the call the UK. For work! What are they, 5 hours ahead? I GET TO TALK TO THE FUTURE.

Hey LGBT activists and progressives: Here's a video from yesterday of NationBuilder's founder Jim Gilliam bragging to Glenn Beck about how NationBuilder helped Duck Dynasty start an anti-gay petition.

I'm here! This is it!

Last Madonna concert post just to say this: IT WAS EVERYTHING I WANTED AND MORE. She's still got it. Pop spectacle meets Cirque du Soleil! Despite not getting to bed until 2pm, it was totally worth it.

I can't wait to buy the DVD of the tour and then force all of you to watch it with me while I narrate my favorite parts.

A pretty picture from our apple-picking.

I know all the blah-blah about how apple-picking is unsustainable yuppie nonsense, but it's been a tradition of mine and Hank's that we haven't done in the last few years and I've really missed it. An opportunity in the fall to get out of the city and go somewhere cooler!

Not to mention that I eat an apple every morning and eating the ones straight off the tree is pretty satisfying

People! Daylight Savings Time ends TONIGHT!!! Spring forward at 2am. In the time you read this, you just lost an hour of sleep.

Well, that didn't take long! First God-centric email to The Listserv since I joined. That was two minutes I wish I could get back.

We must end the NRA and the tyranny of the gun manufacturers which believe that their profits are more important than our people.

It's not the heat, it's the homophobia.

Jesuschrist if these assholes were walking down these stairs into the BART station any slower we'd be going up instead of down. Just missed my train.

Thanks y'all!

Hello from the other side.

"The Adele video, released on Friday, surpassed 23.2 million views within the first 24 hours on YouTube. That edges out Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood,” which reached 20.1 million within its first 24. Other first-day heavy hitters include ‘Anaconda’ by Nicki Minaj, which cleared 19.6 million on day one."

There's someone wearing a gorilla costume in my BART station. Should I be worried? Ps, it's wearing a scarf.

Such a huge bummer I wrote a huge long thing on my "About Me" page here, and it got deleted by accident.

If you'll be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal. I can call you Betty, and Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al.

My modeling contract has arrived!

Okay people, I need everyone to know: When the tabloids call, GIVE. THEM. NOTHING.

Facebook keeps asking me if I like "Hairy Guys." I mean, the answer is yes of course, but is that really something I want on my profile?

Well that's just freaky as hell: Woke up at 5:45 this morning to find the drawer of my bedside table open, and some of the contents were sitting on top of my cell and tablet, which were charging there. I almost never go into that drawer and am certainly not the type of person that would leave things sitting there.

Woke up Hank Hedland and he says it wasn't him. Nothing else missing.

freaked out and now cannot go back to sleep.

We are driving all over Hell's Half Acre looking for a shamrock shake. Slante, kids.

Sorry, Hillary Clinton and President Bill Clinton, your story doesn't hold water.